A Disease Called Love
by TheWhoufflePrincess
Summary: It was well known in the universe that humans struggled with such a simple feeling, the one feeling needed to procreate: falling in love. It’s unfortunate that Clara Oswald has this disease and she doubts her love will be returned.


It was well-known in the universe that humans, out of all races, suffer from a strange disease, limited to only them alone. It was unfair, many humans called it, to have to experience this highly advanced disease, with no solution anytime soon.

Falling in love.

Now, it makes no sense, doesn't it? Species fall in love in order to procreate, yet humans have a string attached to such a simple mechanic of survival. It was a dangerous disease, especially if one were to fall and never climb out of the hole of their adoration. Medication existed in order to medicate this strange phenomena, but it doesn't quite work all the time or placate the feelings a person could feel. Love isn't so easy to dissipate, so when one fell, they'd have to be careful to fall for the right person.

The disease was only cured if the love was returned in someway that was obvious to the afflicted, so the mind could make the connections. Some didn't have this, so it was possible to die from this disease too. It is so deeply rooted in one's heart, that if the afflicted gave up, the worst could occur.

Clara Oswald was a sufferer of this, unfortunately.

She first realized it when her heart hammered out of her chest every time she'd brush against the previous Doctor by accident. At first, she assumed it was just because he was one of the only few males she allowed into her life. It then started to become a pattern when she noticed her body subconsciously making sure it remained closer to the bow tie clad Doctor. It frightened her, as it was her first time falling in love. She had small little crushes in her lifetime, but when you loved someone, it was pretty obvious to the person afflicted by the emotion.

Life went on, however. Her love was not recognized and so, she took medication to prevent her heart from dying of unrequited love. She did what she could to continue this double life, without dying of such a simple emotion. She read up on books, the ones that existed and explained how to fall out of love with a person who probably didn't continue to share the same feelings or if one needed to know how to make the other fall in love, but there was no manual on how to deal when the same exact person changed in personality, looks, and overall demeanor, now do they? Those books became rubbish with the new Doctor.

What had once helped Clara- those simple moments of hand holding, brushes of his touch- all of those faded away with the regeneration. The reassurances from him turned to brash remarks that her heart burned with every word he spoke negatively of her. The new development had her put on high medication. She chose to make up a false excuse that her one-sided love moved to the other side of the world. It helped her live, but on the downside, it really damaged her health.

Her health especially began to deteriorate when those remarks went for the worse. The "not your boyfriend comment," almost left her for dead, if it weren't for her perseverance to live. Danny was a short fling, but it was mainly to keep him safe from dying from his love to her, rather than her moving on from the Doctor and onto him.

A relationship out of convenience, she decided to call it.

When Danny died, she practically had no reason to live and since the Doctor had found Gallifrey, she decided that it would be best for him to leave. She let him hug her, keeping that one last embrace before he hopped into his blue box and left her on the street.

That was her mistake.

The medication she was on only went above as, "your love leaving to another country, on the same planet, but you can still speak to them," rather than the notion of, "your love leaving you entirely." No medication would help this. Her heart, who always seemed to have a mind of its own, had realized this. Seconds after his TARDIS dematerialized, Clara was having a hard time pumping blood to the other parts of her body, as the thought of him never coming back was settling in her heart. She stumbled, her face becoming a ghastly shade of white, and she wrapped her arms around herself. Strangers around her recognized the symptoms as she collapsed, causing a call to 999 from one of the civilians.

She was rushed to the hospital, as any other person would be, but everyone, including Clara, knew it was hopeless. The terrifying disease of love could not be placated without the lover. They made her comfortable until her heart wilted like a rose.

That was the plan, until a man stepped in during visiting hours. The loveless woman woke with a start, the feeling of another being in the room, surprising her. She sat up, rubbing her eyes before staring at the ancient gray man standing in the doorway. Her heart was caught in her throat as she stared at him. His appearance wasn't enough to heal her, however.

"I can't leave you for a few hours, can I, Clara?"

"Doctor?" She asked quietly, as if her eyes were lying to her. "What are you doing here?"

"The hospital called me, said I was an emergency contact." He chuckled to himself, walking a few paces into the room before stopping." Probably Missy's doing." His eyes wandered, before landing on her. "I could ask you the same question. What are you doing here, Clara?"

"It's not that important." She dismissed, her cursed eyes glancing at the computer terminal to the side. He, being analytical as always, caught it, but did not go straight for it. He wanted Clara to tell him on her own terms, but if she wouldn't, that was his last resort.

"Clara, you are important. Answer my question." He said, the slightest bit of annoyance in his voice.

"What happened to Gallifrey? Aren't you supposed to be a king or something?" She shot back. Dodging questions. Smoke and mirrors. Just how they rolled with everything.

"And you're supposed to be with the love of your life." He deadpanned. You're the love of my life.

"Things don't work out, you know." She retorted. Besides the usual hospital noises, it was dead silent in the room. The Doctor was staring down at Clara from the foot of the bed, arms crossed.

"You lied, didn't you?" A beat passed. "Clara."

"I wasn't going to." She admitted, "but you found Gallifrey. You seemed happy with that. I let you go, but it appears that my heart doesn't have the desire to." She smiled sadly down at her chest, where she could feel her heart racing.

"We should get crowns for the two best liars in the universe." He muttered. Clara rolled her eyes at that. "That's it. No more lies. Tell me, why are you in the hospital, Clara?"

"You don't do the whole truth thing." She responded.

"I'm willing to try new things. New body, new rules."

"That rule never changes. You're lying to me right now." She remarked, "You don't change in that one aspect."

"Is this what this is about-,"

"If you want to know why, just use your damn sonic on the terminal and read the report. Don't make assumptions." She finally said, already knowing where this was going to head. If her last face was going to be the Doctor, she didn't want it to end in a ridiculous argument about lies. It took the Doctor a moment, but he strode to the computer terminal and used his sonic to unlock it. A few clicks and she stared out to the opposite wall, already knowing he was reading what she already knew. "It's already too late for me. I hate being human. I want your timelord physiology now."

"Clara..." His voice wavered, slightly. "Is this about Danny?" She broke out into laughter after that, looking towards the Doctor. He looked confused, an eyebrow raised.

"You need to look a little closer to home, Doctor." She said. When it didn't seem to click to him, "It was never about Danny. It was about you." His eyes glinted in the hospital light, but he didn't speak, so she filled the void. "I know you aren't of this nature- you're probably asexual or something." An eye roll from him, but his attention remained on her. "That's why I didn't want to fall in love with you, but I did. I fell in love with your last regeneration first, but even after you changed...I still loved you. I knew you still cared after all the things you've said-,"

"But your heart didn't know that." He cut to the chase, reading the context. "Oh, Clara." Tears welled in her eyes as he spoke her name in a tender manner. He took the several steps forward, to be beside her. "Your eyes are malfunctioning again," He pointed out.

"Must be a human thing. Just like this..." She gestured at her chest, "Love thing."

"I'm sorry." The Doctor apologized. Her ears perked up to the apology and she stared at him, baffled.

"You have nothing to be sorry for." Clara said, "It's just me, my human emotions, and-,"

"I distanced myself from you to protect you, but it's killing you in the process." He explained, "I had thought...if I distanced myself, you would have no reason to fall in love. It didn't concur to me that you were already in love. When Danny came into the picture, I had thought he became your lover."

"On the contrary, he fell in love with me. I brought him into the crossfire of our relationship because I didn't want him to be like me. Now he's dead and it's my fault regardless." Clara looked down at her hands, to which the Doctor took.

"Clara-,"

"Don't say something you don't mean. If you're going to say that you love me and lie about it to save me, don't bother." She said, tears already spilling down her cheeks, "Because I don't think my heart can handle a lie."

"I would never lie to you in that regard." He sat down on the hospital bed, hands still holding hers. "It is the one thing I would never do. Especially to you. These three simple words to you, are everything to me. When I say them, I won't be able to stop." He kissed the top of her hand tenderly. She felt her heart attempting to beat out of her chest, but nothing was going to save her unless he said the words of affirmation to Clara.

"What's so bad about that?" She asked cheekily.

He smiled sadly, "I protected myself, as well-,"

"I see." She looked down, knowing just how much of a blip her life would be to him, "Then you don't have to say a word."

"You need to let me finish, Clara." He used a hand to lift her chin up, "Do you think I don't care for you, or perhaps care for you in such a small amount? You're everything to me. You will never escape me because you are so deeply rooted in my life, and I to yours. I'm willing to take the risk, no matter how much it'll hurt." The silence was killing her, quite literally too.

"Doctor," she warned slightly.

"Clara, I love you." He blurted out, "You are the first face I have ever seen and probably my very last. I'll love you until I can't breathe. I actually love your nose, your laugh, your smile...no matter how much I belittle your features. It'll hurt so much to see you, your little human life, such a small existence against mine. You've saved me more times than anyone ever could, and with that, you are embedded in my hearts. So please, accept the truth and let me save you."

The simple 'I love you' was enough. She smiled at him, the weight that was on her chest, disappearing like smoke. She brought him close and kissed him, gently and carefully. His chapped lips against her soft ones felt all too unreal. The Doctor, with all his awkwardness, responded with fervor. At least, as much fervor he could in his position. She bet it would have gone even further if the nurse didn't walk in.

"Miss Oswal- oh." The Doctor pulled away and glared at the nurse, who walked over to the terminal and read the new results. "I'll let your doctor know about the new...development. Good day." The nurse walked out quickly, embarrassed at what she had walked in on.

"Her Doctor is already aware." He murmured into her hair.

"I don't deserve you." Clara sighed. She felt as though she was dreaming. There was no way any of this was happening, but it was. She would be off those pills and wouldn't have to do deal with it. She had what she needed and wanted; her Doctor.

"Actually, I'm exactly what you need."


End file.
